Saturday, March 31, 2007
Interview with a ‘mouse
In this meme passed along by the beautiful and talented Bunni, Bunni asks me five questions and I do my best to answer. Honestly. Should you wish to play, you leave me a comment and I have to get to ask you five questions (by email, so don’t forget to make sure I have your addy), which you must answer en-blog.
Without further ado, Bunni asks:
1. Why mangoes?
The mango fetish is, of course, described here. However, the meaning of the mango runs much deeper. I lost my virginity to that mango. (No, not that way, silly readers, get your mind out of the gutter.)
The mango represents the exact turning point in my life and the line between childhood and adulthood. 45 days in the summer of 1987 when I discovered, at the age of 20, that despite almost entirely supporting myself and living on my own since I was 16, I had been a timid and fear-filled child and it was holding me back. That mango was my apple from the tree of knowledge. It poisoned me, or perhaps inoculated me, with the knowledge that outgoingness, adventure and bravery offered greater rewards than security and risk-avoidance offered. And mangoes remain tasty and sexy as hell.
2. What is the most ridiculous event/comment you’ve observed/overheard in a professional setting?
I’ll get to that story, but first I must answer a different question: What’s the most interesting tidbit of cellphone conversation you’ve ever overhead?
Just last weekend, on a crowded street, “I’ll do anything, absolutely anything you ask, on the condition that you get your tubes tied.”
It took every fiber of my willpower to keep from turning around, stomping this jerk’s cellphone on the ground, screaming, “That will NEVER be an appropriate cellphone conversation and by the way, if it’s important, get a fucking vasectomy you giant dick!”
In my professional life:
“Oh shit!” stated rather astutely by the lawyer in line in front of me as the deputy at the courthouse metal detector held up the little brown vial with the spoon hanging off of it that he’d just plucked from her purse.
3.Would you ever consider moving to NY?
If by “move” you mean live there long term, then no. I could happily spend a few years passing through for someone I cared about who needed to be there, but my heart is not a big city heart.
4. What is your philosophical stance on your choice of undergarments?
For me, depends on the outergarments—traditional briefs inside jeans to keep the stuff where it’s supposed to be. The rest of the time boxers, since it feels kind of free and naughty.
For her? I have a strong aversion to granny panties. Everything else is fine as long as it’s soon-to-be-shed whenever I’m observing it. However, when it comes to bras I am a very strong believer in the plain old rear-hooking kind. Ever since I learned to undo those one-handed without ever breaking off kissing, that moment in the process has been an especially joyful one. Breaking off the kiss and using both hands to undo a front hook or peel off a sports bra, not so much fun.
5. I know the story of how you talked your wife into going on a first date, but what is your most entertaining break up story?
To my great embarrasment, I haven’t got much in the way of memorably odd or ugly breakup stories. Natural attrition and moving/life changes drove just about every one of my very civil and mild breakups.
That said, and this story is always reserved for guys over a beer, so I’m not sure why I’m telling it here, there is one story where I star as the bad guy. As I was leaving for college I had to say goodbye to the woman I had been dating for about six months. At the urging of her best friend, I “said goodbye” and we ended things a couple days before I left town, allegedly so I’d have time to finish some projects, pack, and not deal with all the pain of “goodbye” at the very last minute. The real reason was so that her best friend and I could have a quickie two-day fling without violating the “you don’t sleep with your best friend’s guy / don’t sleep with your girlfriend’s best friend” rule.
Come to think of it, that was probably the first definitive indication that a career in law lay in my future.