Never trust a skinny cook: A short foodie rant
Being, as I am, cable-deprived blessed with no cable television at home, vacation was a time to soak up all things good on cable. By that I refer exclusively to the Food Netork.
Alas, as Bakerina so well put it (tho I can’t find it in her archives, (Bake, can you drop the link in the comments below?), the trend to eye-candy, non-chef “hosts” on FN is apalling. Awful. Bad.
Seriously, when I look at a bleach-blonde bimbo cooing about the joy of making colored ice cubes, I have no choice but to give up and turn off the fucking television.
From now on I live by one simple rule which I will call the Rachel Ray Test: Never waste even one minute watching any show on the food network where the host/hostess (or better chef, we like real chefs folks, that’s why we tune in!) is thinner than Rachel Ray. And even Rachel is looking a little scrawny lately as she tries to survive on $40/day.
Anything for my favorite ‘mouse. Is this:
(http://bakerina.com/bakerina/comments/a_quick_moment_while_i_readjust_my_accoutrements/)
the one you were talking about? If you liked that one, you should definitely read the posts KitchenMage wrote. (Scroll down to the comment field—the links are there.)Posted by Bakerina on 07/08 at 06:25 PMI need to fix your link code, ‘mouse. It’s impossible to tell the links from the text.
Climbing out of the shower a few minutes ago, and glancing over at the mirror, I couldn’t help but notice that I’m on the verge of becoming a good food network host. I have the looks, anyway.
Posted by Keith on 07/09 at 11:12 AMheh. now, some of us can have ... let’s say tortuous relationships with food and still make a pie. mmm, blueberries, peaches, tart green apples. the possibilities appear endless this time of the year.
and sure, i give rachael ray, barefoot countessa, even paula deen more credibility due to their…stature. but its a myth, a myth i tell you!
Posted by goliard on 07/10 at 04:57 AMwow. i thought these exact same thoughts when i was in maui a few weeks ago. i spent one day on the couch as a result of too much sun and was so very disappointed in the food network. plus, what, really, do flower arrangements have to do with food? unless of course you can eat them?
Posted by nakedjen on 07/15 at 09:44 AMNakedjen, Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I can’t believe I missed you in Maui. I hadn’t realized you were delayed. Funny to think you were naked on Big Beach and I was within just a couple miles. Better timing and I would have been there, looked over and thought, “hey, that looks like nakedjen from Santa Cruz!” How fun that would have been.
I’d comment over at your place, but I’m suffering from intense anti-authoritarianism lately and cannot bring myself to fill in yet another registration form.
Posted by 'mouse on 07/15 at 01:00 PMJen, Jen, Jen! My day just got better. Right before the July 4 weekend, Lloyd and I went to the arepa bar on 7th St. that you and I went to. We each got a papelon con limon and I missed you so badly that I could have cut glass with my own heart.
Because I love nothing more than a good Food Network pile drive…last night Lloyd and I got home late from my mom’s surprise 60th birthday dinner (at Felidia, followed by Bloody Marys at the bar at the St. Regis, where she and my stepdad are staying) just in time for a Food Network special called “Scoop”—not about the new Woody Allen movie, but rather a contest in which five people competed for the chance to invent a new flavor for Haagen-Dazs. I think that I am officially insane, because I keep watching these specials, thinking that I’m going to get something good from them, and I end up roundly disappointed every damn time. This special had all the hallmarks of a “Food Network Special Presentation”, namely a good 30 minutes’ worth of programming stretched out over 2 hours, all surrounding a (non-)event created or sponsored by Food Network. Apparently it is not enough for FN to cover genuine events and contests; they are now in the business of manufacturing events so they have something to cover—all under the loathsome rubric of “Food Network Nighttime: More than just cookin’!” Well, gee, maybe when you consider running more than three hours of actual cooking programming, two hours of which is impossibly lame, then you can move beyond cooking. FN has indeed become the network of people who claim to love food, but have no desire to actually cook it.
(‘mouse, I do hope you don’t mind my hijacking your comment field to bring this well-burnished rant out again. Feel free to hit the magic delete button if you do. ;)
Posted by bakerina on 07/16 at 07:00 AM
Due to excess spam, you must be logged in to comment.
Next entry: making love in the shower
Previous entry: A few of my favorite things